


Rain is a Part of How Life Grows

by promisin, QuillHeart



Category: Promare (2019)
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pregnancy, Pregnancy complications, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Trans Lio, minor tho - Freeform, trans Lucia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24544735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/promisin/pseuds/promisin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillHeart/pseuds/QuillHeart
Summary: Ten years after the Second World Blaze and seven years after their marriage, Galo and Lio embark on a different kind of adventure.
Relationships: Lio Fotia/Galo Thymos
Comments: 22
Kudos: 123





	Rain is a Part of How Life Grows

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you dearly to Quill, the co-creator, who has worked with me to bring this into the world, despite the difficulties in these times. 
> 
> Black lives matter, look after each other, and take care. 
> 
> Please enjoy :)

The pregnancy is an accident. It's not too surprising, in retrospect: he and Galo had both drunk a little bit too much at the party celebrating the Second World Blaze's tenth ( _ tenth! _ ) anniversary, and then did as any happily married couple does, and had amazing marathon sex when they got home. 

The actual details of the night are fuzzy, but Lio has no doubt it was that night where It Happened, since they're both normally good about protection. 

While the discussion around kids had always been based on surrogacy, when it comes to the decision on whether to keep it, he can't bring himself to say no. He wants this silly saving-the-world-anniversary baby, wants to start a family with the man who's stood by him for those ten years since their explosive meeting, the man who is his  _ husband  _ now. 

The next part, after the crying happy tears and celebratory sex, is finding a house fit to raise another person in. Their current apartment is small and cosy, and until now, it's all they've needed. But at the end of the day, it’s only got one bedroom.

"What about this one?" Galo asks alongside the small  _ ping _ of the messenger app. Lio opens up their chat and clicks on the most recent link, impatiently tapping his fingers on the side of his tablet as it loads. 

"No," Lio says, almost immediately after seeing it. 

"What's wrong with row houses?" Galo whines. "There's not that many detached houses if we both want to be close to work."

"I just don't _ like _ them," Lio pouts. If he's going to own his home, he already knows that it has to have no walks connected to another. While he accepts that a house similar to what he grew up in is out of their budget, he wants something with more privacy. 

"You're so picky." Galo huffs, and returns to browsing on his phone. "Oh! Actually! How about this one?" He asks, suddenly excited for reasons Lio can not discern, sending another link; this time from a different estate website. 

The house is another city house, not too far from the fire station and the university that Galo and Lio work at, respectively. Squinting at the address, it looks to even be on the same street as Lucia, which is a bonus. 

"How convenient," Lio mumbles, looking at the pictures. 

"The house? Yeah, Lucia sent me this earlier, actually. She saw it on the way to work today," Galo preens, putting his phone down and scooting closer to Lio, who holds out the tablet between them as they browse the gallery. 

It's spacious, and they already know the neighborhood thanks to Lucia and nights spent at hers. There's even a small yard at the back which makes Galo's eyes go wide and excited, even if he doesn't say anything. 

"Well, it won't hurt to schedule a viewing." Lio exits the gallery and scrolls down to the contact info, making a small note of it in a separate window. 

They've got a few lined up already for the coming weeks, but he has a feeling that this house is The One. There's usually no stopping Galo when he's got his eye on something, and Lio has always been weak to what his husband wants.

He doesn't even notice that he's idly rubbing his stomach until he looks up to Galo, whose gaze is fixed on his midsection with tears in his eyes. Lio can feel his cheeks warm up and he stops what he's doing (he's not even showing yet!), feeling vulnerable and embarrassed. 

"No, don't stop just because of me," Galo whispers, taking a hand and lifting Lio's chin so they're face to face. They're close enough for Lio to tell that Galo is feeling as soft as he sounds with eyes that are shining with tears. 

"Are you going to cry?" Lio asks, voice wobbling. He clears his throat, and tries again, "Because I thought we were already done with crying when I said I wanted to keep it, and you know I'm delicate right now and if you're going to cry then so will I and it won't be pretty." 

"I'm sorry, it's just that looking at houses with you…for our family…" Galo gets that far before the tears start leaking, and he has to take a break to sniffle. "It's really happening. I get to be a dad." 

Lio can feel his own eyes prickling now, and he reaches both hands up to Galo's face, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears. "You dummy, you're making me cry again," he laughs, the first drops escaping the corners of his eyes as he does.

"I'm  _ your  _ dummy," Galo pouts, and leans in to press their foreheads together, eyes closed. "And I'm going to have a family." 

"You already  _ have  _ a family," Lio protests, just to be contrary. He knows what Galo means, but he doesn't want to say it out loud, not yet. "You have me, and your team, and Gueira and Meis."

"This is different, though. This is…raising a tiny person, and I get to do it with you, Lio Thymos-Fotia, love of my life and father to my child." Galo's hands fall from Lio's face to his stomach, one palm flat against the smooth surface reverently, and the other on Lio's back, gently pulling him closer. "I'm just overwhelmed. But in BEST way." His chin is hot on the back of Lio’s neck. 

"I know." Lio says, and he means it. Leave it to Galo to put into words the butterflies in his chest, to simultaneously steal his breath and breathe it back into him. "I am too."

If anyone had asked him when he was young and hurt and burning if he'd ever see himself like this--sitting awkwardly facing his husband on their second-hand sofa, holding each other and crying--Lio would have probably laughed in their face at such a cruel joke. 

He didn't expect to even survive to see the end of the war against the Burnish, never mind the departure of their fire, the aftermath of an attempted genocide, and the rebuilding of a city he now calls home. 

And now, to be bringing someone, willingly, into a world with hard-won equality that isn't quite equal yet… it's terrifying. 

It's terrifying, but he won't be doing it alone, and that thought turns the fear into something more exhilarating, like embarking on another adventure.

He makes a mental apology to his past self, to the Lio who swore to never have kids because his body was a broken and wrong thing. 

He just hopes he's ready. 

  
  


Telling their friends is another affair altogether. Both he and Galo know that Galo will not be able to keep his mouth shut, and will accidentally let it slip if left long enough. He wants to tell people two weeks ago. The fact that he's managed to keep it quiet for almost a month is a milestone that needs celebrating. 

Lio on the other hand, is of the opinion that he should disappear for the entire period until birth and reappear with the child, who he miraculously 'found on the roadside' after a 'spiritual journey' to 'find himself'. 

Galo vetoes that without even entertaining the idea. Lio pouts. 

They both agree that they  _ should _ say something, but the issue is  _ when _ . And who first? Should it be a party with invitations? Or a post on social media? Galo doesn't like the idea of people missing out or getting offended by being the last to know, so he wants a party, and Lio  _ really _ doesn't. 

He doesn't want to be the centre of attention for creating a little human in his body. The thought makes him grimace and he feels terrible and wrong, as if his friends would be gathering to ridicule him instead of celebrating. 

That's not fair on his friends. He knows that. They're lovely people who have stuck through with them even after all the shit they've been through--but he can't help the part of him that's shutting down at the prospect of them seeing him and thinking  _ mother. _

Galo understands. He doesn't push for a party, after that. In fact, they don't say much about telling other people after that, saving the quiet elation for the privacy of their own home.

Ironically enough, it's Lio who spills the beans first. He's with Gueira, who works as a mechanic close to the university, having their weekly lunch together. 

"How's the house hunting going?" Gueira asks through a mouthful of pasta. "Meis ‘n’ I had a nightmare when we were looking a few years ago with all the paperwork."

"It's going…all right." Lio winces, putting down his fork. He rubs his temples, trying to push down the nausea that is threatening his lunch. 

"That doesn't look very okay, Boss. You all right?" When Lio looks up, Gueira is eyeing him worriedly, looking half ready to pick him up and run to the nearest hospital. 

It is a familiar stance, his back straight and alert, leg bouncing and fingers twitching; a habit they never really unlearned from the war, even a decade later. 

"It's fine. I'm just, you know." 

"No, actually, I don't know. You're worrying me--and Meis--you've been out of it for  _ weeks _ ," Gueira says, quiet so he doesn't catch the attention of the other patrons. "You've had tons of hospital appointments lately, and…" 

"Ooh no." Lio sighs, putting his head back in his hands and rubbing his eyes until he sees spots just to ground himself in this moment. He's not doing this. He doesn't want this to be how he tells his closest friends. 

"If you're, you know, going through anything difficult we can do more than just drive you around." Gueira carries on, taking Lio's reaction as an admission.

"Whatever you're thinking, it's not that," Lio says, taking a deep breath. "Would I really be buying a house if… if I were that sick?"

"I don't know, maybe you need to be closer to work or amenities the apartment doesn't provide." Gueira bounces back, volume rising. "If not that, then what is it?" He is looking more like a kicked puppy, and by the shake in his voice Lio can tell it's been troubling him. Lio feels the familiar pang of guilt, of hurting his friends by hiding a part of himself and letting them worry because of his own insecurities.

"I'm--I'm pregnant, okay?" he hisses under his breath, bowing his head as he does. He didn't want it to come out this way, but he doesn't want to be dishonest. "We were waiting to tell everyone… we didn't, no,  _ I _ didn't want to, _ fuck _ ." 

Lio doesn't know where to look, only knows he doesn't want to look at Gueira. The food is only making him feel sick, and there are too many people around. He settles for his lap, twisting his fingers just for something to do. 

"Shit, man," Gueira says after a long pause. "I'm so fucking sorry--" 

"No, it's not that. It's fine--it's fine." 

"Is it though? When we would--back when… You said you’d rather die than get knocked up." 

Lio glares.

" Well I mean it's not exactly 'knocked up' if it's with your husband sorry," Gueira babbles, getting nervous, "I guess I don't really know what you want, damn, I didn't mean to ruin the moment." He looks sheepish. Lio reaches out and touches his hand. To comfort him, or maybe himself? He isn't sure but Gueira doesn't pull away and that's good.

"My moment?" Lio squeezes Gueria's hand, trying to convey that there is no harm done. 

"You know, your _ moment _ when you reveal you're creating the miracle of life and everyone cheers, and, y'know." 

"I… don't know, actually. I'm not…" Lio frowns, pulling away to gesture at himself, "...hugely comfortable with the entire thing yet."

Gueira didn't reply immediately, looking conflicted about what to say. "I think what you're doing is amazing," he starts, speaking with an uncharacteristic maturity. "And, jeez, I'm no good at this stuff. I think you'll be great." 

Lio smiles, amused at how quickly Gueira's gusto fizzles out when he tries to be mushy, and touched by the sentiment. 

He feels bad about expecting something bad to happen, but that is overtaken by the excitement of finally being able to share this experience with someone who isn't Galo, who isn't obliged to stay with him. 

"Hey, Boss, if you're going to cry…" Gueira stutters, holding up a napkin at him and looking panicked.

"No, I think I'll be all right," he says, voice soft. "Thanks for taking it so well." 

"No problem! I, uh, can I tell Meis? He's pretty worried about you. But I understand if you want to do it!" 

"Yes of course." Lio laughs, knowing that Gueira is worse than Galo at keeping his mouth shut when it comes to Meis. "I'll, um, keep you updated." 

"Thanks?" Gueira laughs too, "Man, I'm really going to be an uncle! That's so fucking awesome!" 

"I, yeah of course, if you want to." Lio blinks, surprised by the easy acceptance, and the tension between them melts away. 

"Of course I do! Any kid of yours is going to be  _ ratchet _ !" Gueira says, nervousness washed away by excitement, and the table starts to jiggle as he starts to bounce in his seat. He soon leans forward, a grin spread across his face. "And with Galo? That’s even better! I know you love him so much."

"I do," Lio whispers, a small smile spreading over his face. "I do."

It feels nice, being free of this secret, though until now Lio wasn't even aware that he was burdened by it. He didn't even know how much he was missing his friends by hiding this from them. Maybe he'll be ready to let Galo loose on the rest of them. 

Galo is too excited to let the rest of their friends know that they're expecting. Lio is still not enthused, and they're back to not-quite-arguing.

Lio doesn't want to say what's on his mind out loud for the fear of making it real, but he _ knows _ Galo isn't a mind reader and can't just know what he's so nervous about. On the other hand, Galo is confused and hurt over the injustice of Lio's friends knowing and not his.

"It's not that I like them less," he says, though it is a little bit. He may have spent three years by their side rebuilding Promepolis and fighting fires in Burning Rescue, but they didn't pick him up as a stray teen, on the run for a decade and give him a place and purpose. They also don't know that he's even capable of carrying children, and he really would have liked to keep it that way. 

"I mean, I get it!" 

"No, you don't! Have you considered that--that they don't even know that I can  _ get _ pregnant?" Lio snaps, and he regrets it immediately as Galo's face freezes in shock, looking like he'd just been slapped. "Fuck, I didn't mean for it to sound so harsh." 

"I… I didn't think," Galo sounds destroyed, the wind gone from his sails. "You've always been my husband to me, and to them, I swear, they would _ never _ \--" 

"I know they won't be overtly rude about it." Lio quickly amends, sensing Galo's trepidation, "But you never know how people are going to react until they face a thing. I don't want them to treat me any differently." 

It takes Galo a few minutes to reply as he considers the situation. His face shifts from hurt to pensive, to tired, and Lio sits on his side of the sofa, giving all the space Galo needs to think. 

"I can't guarantee they won't, but they're good people. I'm sure they would treat you the same as you've always been." Galo grasps Lio's shaking hands, pulling him closer into his side. It's a dirty trick, squishing Lio into his warmth, causing him to relax instinctively. 

"I… you're not mad?" Lio asks quietly, voice laced with guilt. 

"I'm a little mad you didn't tell me about this earlier, yeah," Galo says with a tried sigh. "I thought you just didn't want attention." 

"That too." Lio pouts, but he snugs in closer. "I'm sorry. I didn't… I didn't have words for it until now." Until they tumbled out of his mouth in a fit of frustration. 

"I'm glad you found the words to let me know, then." Galo settles for that, but Lio can still see that he's still disappointed.

"Just… a little more time? Please?" he offers, and Galo looks down to meet his eyes. This close, he can see the patterns in Galo's irises, blue and beautiful, and so, so trusting. 

"Sure." Galo agrees, because he's Galo and kind and never one to push boundaries. "I can speak to them ahead of time if you want." 

Lio shakes his head, pushing himself up to bump his husband affectionately, forehead-to-forehead. "No, it's okay." 

"We're okay?" Galo worries, breath warm on Lio's face. Galo always gets like this when they argue, even if it's not a full on argument: quietly insecure and in need of reassurance, scared that Lio will turn tail and run. 

"We're okay." Lio says, making up the gap between their lips and kissing him gently. 

On the day of The Reveal, Lio tags along with Galo to the station. It's not an uncommon occurrence, but it has been a while since he had. 

It's… not actually as big of a deal as he had made it out to be in his head. They congratulate them both, and tell them that they're excited as well. Galo soaks up the attention like a sponge, talking a mile an hour about everything he wants to do and answering any questions they might have: they're about two months along now, yes it's why they are buying the house, no it's not a surrogacy. 

The last one makes Lio shy, so he slinks to the side. 

Lucia spots him, though, and pulls him aside. She holds out her fist, raising an eyebrow at him. Instinctively, he bumps it with his own, and she smiles toothily, but it's less a mad scientist grin and more intimate, knowing. 

"You already knew." Lio frowns. 

"Yuuup," Lucia nods, popping the 'p'. Her expression turns serious and she looks at Lio with something adjacent to sympathy. "And you know, I get you." 

"You get me?" 

"Yeah. Well, I've not always been Lucia." She says it easily, but Lio can see that it's hard for her in the way her forehead creases and eyes misty, and he recognises the pain. 

"Oh." He says, because he doesn't know what else there is to say.

"It's alright squirt, you don't have to share your life story and I'm not gonna impose mine on you." She laughs, gently. "Just wanted to let you know you aren't as alone as you thought you were." 

"Thanks, Lucia." Lio says, and he means it. He's not normally someone who gives out physical contact but he can't help but pull Lucia into a hug. "You didn't have to, so, thank you." 

"You're welcome. Older people like me have to look out for you young ones, right?" She squeezes him, patting his back. It's a comfort. 

  
  


"Twins." Galo says, once they're in the parking lot of the hospital. He's not said anything since the bombshell was dropped, and to be fair, neither has Lio.

"Yep." He agrees, because there's not much to dispute. "Are you happy?" 

"Yeah, duh!" Galo nods, but stops once he sees Lio's frown. "But it's not just about me, you know. I'm not the one making the baby. Babies."

"I guess." Lio says, and looks down. He's been feeling increasingly more self conscious the further along he's getting, and he knows that it's only going to get worse. 

"Hey, are you okay?" Galo throws a big arm around him, pulling him in closer. "It's okay if you're not." 

Lio leans into his husband, taking his coat and wrapping it across himself as well. "I don't know. It's kind of a lot." 

"Well, we've got plenty more time to get used to the idea. Or plan for an alternative--"

"No!" Lio cuts in. "No, we're keeping them both." 

"Okay, well, we still have time to…" Galo drifts off, looking down at Lio who's shaking and hanging his head, hiding his face. "Hey, it's okay."

Galo lets go of Lio and they stop walking. He drops down in front of Lio, looking up at him and reaching for his face. 

"It's okay, firebug, we don't even have to think about it right now." He strokes Lio's cheeks, though Lio isn't crying yet. It's a familiar and comforting gesture, but they're still in public and all it brings to Lio is shame for causing a scene. 

"Can we just go home, please," he pleads quietly. He's worked damn hard to get out of the public eye, and he doesn't want to cause a commotion where people will recognise him having a meltdown three feet from his car in a  _ hospital  _ parking lot. The nasty rumors would be endless. 

"Sure thing." Galo gets the message, standing up and ushering them both back to said car. He fills the ride home with idle talk, about groceries and plans for the coming week; something Lio is grateful for to take his mind off the, apparently, twins. 

When they arrive back at the apartment, Galo pushes him down onto the sofa and dumps a blanket on him, crawling under as well once he's removed their shoes.

Surrounded in the warmth of their apartment and the scent of home, Lio feels himself start to come off high alert. He hadn't even noticed that he was keyed up until his shoulders slacken and he takes a deep breath with it, forcing himself to relax further into Galo's embrace. 

He feels so stupid. He feels like a child who hasn't got a rein on their emotions yet and they spiral uncontrollably, too fast to process each one, leaving him exhausted and frustrated and not even sure why. 

Lio used to be so good at compartmentalizing his emotions, putting them into neat boxes in the back of his mind, but therapy has opened them and he's never been under the same kind of stress to be able do that again. 

He's pulled out of his thoughts by Galo laying a hand on his head, starting to gently comb his fingers through the long blonde hair. It's a grounding sensation, and he tries to focus on that instead. 

"Your hair is so long now." Galo murmurs.

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it." Lio mutters darkly. He's feeling less confident about it now that he also is starting to look visibly pregnant. 

"Well I'd still love it short. It's so fluffy no matter what." Galo says, ruffling his hair and messing it up. 

"Ugh." Lio lazily lifts a hand to bat Galo away, but the action is half hearted. He likes being touched in a kind way, something seven years of marriage has showered him with, to make up for the decades before where he only knew violence. 

They sit together in a comfortable silence. It's nice spending time like this, emptying his mind of his worries and revelling in the sensations of now: the pressure and warmth of Galo by his side, the fridge that makes a strange noise from the kitchen every now and again, the texture of the sofa under his hands. 

It isn't until Galo decides he's hungry and starts shifting around to fish his phone out of his pocket that Lio starts coming back to himself, having drifted off at some point. He's more tired than anything else, and only grumbles at being disturbed. 

Soon, they won't have evenings like this anymore. It will be filled with crying (and Lio doesn't just mean the babies), childish chatter, and goodness knows what else. 

Lio's looked after kids and babies before, sure, war doesn't pick and choose who dies and who survives--but they were other people's, and it feels different somehow. Would his children laugh as easily as Galo? Would they like the same films as they do? Would they even love him?

He doesn't know. Each night when Galo is already asleep, Lio tells his twins reassurances, that he'll love them without question, that he'll give them the best life he can and they'll never suffer as he, or Galo, did. He'll accept them as they come, and however they will be, but there's a small voice at the back of his head wondering if the words are for himself, for a younger Lio who needed the kindness _. _

Perhaps it is the stress of moving and preparing for not one but two babies, or perhaps it is Lio himself, who is rejecting the idea of bearing children on a subconscious level, that his body is acting upon it. Or, perhaps, it just was not meant to be. 

While it's true that he hasn't been feeling well lately, he had just assumed it was regular pregnancy stuff. He's tired all the time, and getting up too quickly always knocks him off his feet. 

It isn't until he's on his way to lecture after a disastrous morning of feeling outside of his own body, both light headed and limbs too-heavy, when the world tips sideways, and he regains consciousness on the ground. 

There's a crowd of concerned onlookers and too many voices talking at once, and campus security is there telling him not to panic, an ambulance is on its way, and Lio just wants to go back to that split second where he felt nothing at all. 

The doctors say his anemia should have been taken into account. Lio says he didn't know he was anemic, and the doctor asks none too politely if he's been going to an OB-GYN, to which Lio can only say he hasn't. What he doesn't say is that he didn't want to go because he's a  _ man _ , but the doctor gives him such a dry look he feels like a scolded child. 

As it is, he needs to stay admitted until they're happy for him to go. Normally, as he's informed, he would be free to go home, but he's pregnant with twins and that makes him high risk. So he's stuck. 

It's the worst thing ever. 

Once again, these children who aren’t even born yet are messing up his life.

The last time Lio was hospitalised was while he was still working with Burning Rescue, and that was years ago--before he got married, even. He calls into his job, apologises, and then feels too tired to do much else than sleep.

Galo is at his side when he wakes again, anxiously tapping away at his phone. He jumps up the moment he sees Lio awake, crushing his husband into his chest with a hug. 

"You're all okay," he says, muffled by Lio's hair as he rubs his face into it, breathing deeply. 

"I'm sorry." Lio mumbles, turning his face from Galo's chest so he can breathe. 

"No no no no," Galo lets go, kneeling down at the side of the bed instead, face level with Lio's. Now, Lio can see the dried tear tracks on his cheeks, the redness that rims his eyes, and the guilt stabs him again in the chest. 

"No, I should have known, I, I don't know," Lio can feel his eyes prickling, again, and  _ God _ , he feels like he's done nothing but cry for the past five months. 

"It's not your fault." Galo squeezes him again, rubbing his back in comforting circles. "I was so excited with everything, I forgot how... much of a strain it would be on your body." 

Lio gives a half hearted glare through the tears and sighs, pulling away. "I…" he starts, but stops to sniffle. It's not like Lio isn't aware of his limits; he's had a decade to adjust to life without the Promare bolstering his admittedly delicate constitution, and with his day job being a lecturer at the local university, he's not really been faced with the reality of that in a while. 

It was hard, at first, to be back in the body that was so weak it barely survived childhood, but Lio is nothing if not a fighter and he makes compromises, exceptions, and makes it work. 

Galo is still waiting for him to reply but he doesn't have an answer. All he has is this feeling of wrongness and somehow being misplaced in his own life, and he chokes on the unformed words in his throat. 

"Lio…" Galo reaches out to him, fingers brushing his bangs aside. Lio stays as still as his body will allow, and breathes. Counts his breaths. 

"I'm scared I made the wrong decision." Lio avoids Galo's eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment on his face. He knows that Galo wanted kids, and he thought he did too, but lately all he's been feeling is overwhelmed. 

"The wrong decision for what?" Galo's hand caresses Lio's chin, gently convincing him to look up. When he does, he sees Galo's worry, and he can't, he can't face him, so he scrunches his eyes closed and looks away. 

There are four other patients in this room, with varying numbers of visitors. This is not the time, nor the place, to be having this conversation, but Lio feels like something inside of him is straining, ready to snap. 

"Lio, darling," Galo says, voice barely above a whisper. "I'm worried, you're… I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?" 

"No," Lio says, because he owes his husband that much. "You didn't do anything wrong. I think I did. I don't think I can do this, but I want to, I don't know." He buries his face in his hands, silently crying into the thin hospital sheets. "I want to make you happy, but I'm scared I can't, that I'm not the right person for you after all." 

There's a pause, long enough for Lio's heart to drop and brace himself for the rejection. When Galo speaks again, his voice is wobbly and strained. "Lio… why didn't you tell me?" 

"I thought I was okay with it, but I feel so wrong, and I wanted it to work, but my body isn't even able to--" 

"Hey, hey." Galo shushes him, before he can work himself up further, pulling Lio back into his chest. "You've had a scare today, but it's not your fault." He strokes Lio's head, combing his fingers through the blonde locks and gently scratching the scalp until Lio's breathing evens and the tears have stopped. 

"I want to go home." Lio sniffs, bordering on petulant and effectively ending the conversation. He doesn't want to talk about it anymore, and it looks like Galo doesn't know what to say either. He's unsatisfied and unhappy, and wants to go back in time to before everything went so wrong. 

"We'll ask the doctors nicely later." Galo acquiesces, but his tone is absent, his mind somewhere else. Lio reasons to himself that it wasn't fair of him to spring this on Galo, who always needs time to sort out his thoughts before responding. Lio just needs to suck it up and wait, probably until Galo decides to leave him after all.

Lio ignores the hurt, squashes it down with the rest of his feelings on his matter, letting exhaustion take him again. 

The next morning, he gets another transfusion and more hours of nothing but his own mind for company. He knows Galo has work during the day. He has the morning shift, so the earliest he can come visit Lio is early afternoon, but it feels like an 'if' for whether Galo will even come.

He's sick with anxiety, the uncertainty making his entire body flush hot and breath come short. The nurses try to tell him to relax, but it's difficult to relax when his future has just crumbled into a gaping void and he's a stranger in his own body. 

His phone is out of battery and he doesn't have any books to read, so the day trickles by at a snail's pace, with each hour alone dropping his spirits further. 

Galo arrives in the early afternoon as expected, looking like he hasn't slept but nevertheless chipper, with a bouquet of purple and red roses. The relief Lio feels overwhelms him and he releases the breath he'd been holding the entire day. 

"Oh no," is the first thing Galo says, taking in Lio's dishevelled hair and dark bruising under his eyes. "I guess we're both kind of messes still, huh." He laughs awkwardly while putting the flowers aside. 

"I thought you weren't coming back." Lio says, feeling pathetic. The flowers are lovely, though, and he reaches out to stroke the petals of a bloom. 

"What are you, a dog?" Galo jokes, but when Lio's expression sours further, he changes his tone. "Oh Lio, come here." 

Lio shuffles in for the hug, because even though he's miffed Galo hadn't taken their argument (if it can be called that) as badly he did, he knows that it's not anyone's fault. That, and Galo knows how to hug him in a way that makes him feel safe, and he needs that more than anything right now. 

"There, there. Did you not get any of my messages?" 

"No, my phone's dead." Lio mumbles into Galo's chest. He can hear Galo sigh, a tired sound, and he feels terrible about not trying harder to contact back, maybe ask around for a charger. 

"Well, I'm here now." Galo ruffles Lio's hair, a little resigned, but fondly. "And, I still love you." He punctuates it with a kiss. 

"I didn't mean to insinuate you didn't," Lio twiddles with his fingers, not knowing what to do with his hands. "I know you do, but you deserve a husband or a wife and not," he makes a frustrated noise, putting his head in his hands. “Neither.”

"I already have a husband." Galo says, after a pause. "He's amazing, has helped me save the world and everything. I'm sorry I didn't notice you were hurting." 

"I'm… also sorry I didn't say anything." Lio sniffs. "I really thought I was over this, this bullshit." 

"It's fine!" Galo says, squeezing Lio again. "I promise. You're my husband and a great man, and you're so super special and doing a difficult, scary, amazing thing so that we can expand our family."

"Galo…" Lio's voice wobbles. He doesn't know how to respond, not right away. His heart is still conflicted but Galo's sincerity dampens it, makes him feel like he can do anything. It's the same feeling as all those years ago when it was them against the imminent end of the world, piloting a mech that burned the entire solar system in blue-green flame. 

Their new house is a lot bigger than the previous apartment they had. For starters, there's an  _ upstairs _ and a  _ downstairs _ , something Lio hasn't had in his own living space since he was a child. 

The difficulty with so much room is neither of them have any idea how to fill it. Lio wants to do the whole furniture-shopping-with-his-husband ritual, looking at cribs and couches and stuff, but he's uncomfortable going outside now that he's visibly pregnant. 

Galo knows this, and doesn't push him. He's been very restrained when it comes to his own wants and needs when it comes to Lio recently, something that Lio himself feels a little bad about. 

So Lio plans a party. 

Actually, Meis plans the party. Lio is actually very bad at planning parties, and Meis has been itching to throw a themed baby shower since he found out that Lio is pregnant, and has completely run off with the idea. 

He shows up on the day of the party, five minutes after Lio gives him the all clear of Galo having left for work (which makes him suspect that Meis has been outside waiting…) with several trips worth of party supplies. 

Gueira also wanders in with a helium tank, which feels excessive, but fine. Lio did say 'go wild', and these are the people he once burned down buildings with, so maybe he should have expected it. 

The morning is spent putting up shiny silver garlands and inflating balloons: red for Galo, black for Lio, and pastel for the babies. The pastels are reminiscent of the colours Lio's Promare, and he finds himself looking a little lost while he ties them to the metallic weights. 

Meis looks like he wants to speak to Lio, to intervene, but he stops shy of doing so each time. Maybe something about Lio is off-putting, even to his best friends. 

After a small lunch, Gueira gets to cooking snack foods. Lio would help, but his nausea is preventing that today, so he takes a nap instead. 

Guests start arriving around this time, too; Remi and Aina arrive together, after a shared shift, and they bring brightly wrapped gifts to put on the table. Aina is cordial--their relationship has always been a little tricky--but Lio feels like she's a little cooler than usual.

Lucia and Varys also arrive together, but curiously, Galo is missing. When asked, Varys says that the man of the hour had some stuff to do first. 

Lio's spirits sink, as it basically confirms that Galo's recent habit of coming home late is not due to shifts running over. It's a comfort that his husband is a bad liar, though, because if it were anyone else Lio would be scared of the c-word that…no, Galo wouldn't do that. He's too honest. 

The gathering is a little awkward with Lio playing host. The house is new, so even he doesn't feel completely comfortable in it yet and that sentiment bleeds onto his guests, even if he can gush about the first dishwasher he's had.

Fuck, this really isn't going the way he wanted it to. 

It's a relief when they hear the door open, and everyone gets into position in the lounge. 

"Lio? Why is it dark?" Galo calls out. 

"In here, babe." Lio replies from the lounge, and when Galo walks in he flicks on the light, revealing the balloons and streamers. Lucia even throws a handful of glitter at them. 

"Surprise!" They cheer, and Lio greets his husband with a kiss on the cheek. The tiredness melts off Galo's face as he takes in the scene before him, his eyes widening and lips wobbling. 

"You guys…" he says, voice strained. "What's this?" 

"A baby shower!" Aina steps up as Lio steps aside, and gives him a hug. "Did you think you were going to get away without one?"

"No, well, I…  _ guys _ …" Galo trips over his words, sniffles, and then lets out an almighty wail, crushing Aina in another hug. "But, Lio…"

"Lio is okay with it." Lio smiles, staying beside Galo but slightly behind as he makes his way around the room, thanking his friends. He should feel happy, but it just makes him realise how hard it's been for Galo, too. How long it's been since he's seen his own husband have so much fun.

It's like everyone could sense that he didn't want to be the center of attention, and thankfully he's left alone for most of the night, nodding along to questions when he's asked. 

They send him concerned looks when they think he's not looking, whispering to each other under their breaths as if he is delicate and can't take whatever they're saying. He swallows down his uncertainties; tonight isn't about him. It's for Galo. 

Galo thrives under the attention, and Lio lets him have it. This is for him, after all, and Lio hasn’t seen him shine like this in months.

Halfway through the night, when Galo is opening the presents (because he likes it, and Lio likes the childlike joy that Galo has when he does), Lio starts feeling sick. He retires early, reassuring everyone that he's fine, just needs a lie down, and they don't need to go home. 

Everyone gives him concerned looks, including Galo, but they let him go. He leaves, and for once, Galo doesn’t follow. 

When Lio wakes up in the middle of the night, a somewhat common occurrence now, Galo's side of the bed is empty and he hears shuffling downstairs. 

Curious, Lio heads downstairs to see Galo pulling his shoes on at the door.

"Galo?" He asks, not sure what he's witnessing. 

"Lio! You're awake." Galo speaks quickly, eyes looking everywhere but at Lio. 

"Where are you going?" Lio doesn't mean to sound accusatory, but his husband is leaving their home in the middle of the night without saying a word, and his heart is in his throat.

It takes Galo a few seconds to answer, finally sighing and stuffing his hands into his pockets. "The lake." 

"The… Lake? The frozen one?" The answer does nothing to alleviate Lio's worries. He didn't understand, and seeing that, Galo just picks up Lio's coat off the hook and throws it at him. 

"Yeah. C'mon, you can come too." And he turns, opens the door, and starts the car. 

Lio rushes to put on his coat and shoes, scared that Galo will leave him behind. It's a wasted effort, though, as Galo is waiting for him when he does make it outside. 

His coat doesn't quite close over his belly anymore, and the night air bites into his skin. Galo doesn't say anything as he gets into the passenger's side, just pulling out and onto the road. 

The journey is a stressful one, and by the end of it Lio aches from being tense the entire time. They silently park up and walk to the lake's edge, where Galo sits down unceremoniously with a flop.  Lio wishes, somewhat enviously, that he could still do that .

"Lio." He says, looking out at the vista. The sky is cloudy, and the moon is covered, giving the place a gloomy atmosphere. "Are you mad?" 

"Mad?" Lio is taken aback at the question. At first, he wants to deny it, say of course not, but he thinks about the wrongness he holds within himself, and the emotions that come with it. 

"Lately, I feel like you've been pulling away." Galo contines, when Lio doesn't reply. "Like you're angry at me for all this." 

"I'm…" 

"No, like, I know you’re struggling, and we knew that you would, but you're not talking to me, not talking to _ anyone _ , not going out, not _ eating _ ." Galo's words rush out, his arms waving to emphasise his points. "How am I supposed to help when you don't want it?"

"I'm sorry." Lio blurts, not knowing what else to say, not realising just how far he had spiraled in the past month alone. He takes a deep breath to collect his thoughts, and sits down next to Galo, foot poking at the frozen dirt where the lake starts. "I guess I thought, if I loved you enough, I would be able to do it." 

"Does that mean you don't?" Galo asks, trembling. "Because I worry, you know, that you won't love them, or, or me, once this is over." 

The pang that hits his heart hurts more than anything Galo has ever said to him before.

"No! That's not it. It's just, I love you and this much I know, when I look at you I see a future, but…" He pauses, a betraying sniffle coming to the surface. "But when I look at myself, I don't recognise my body anymore, and I hate it, I hate myself, and--" Lio sucks in a deep breath, not noticing that he has forgotten to breathe until his lungs ache, and he pulls on his hair, just so he can _feel_ something.

"Lio--"

"No! I don't get it! I wanted to start a family with you, I  _ want _ this, but I see myself and I--" Lio chokes, breaths coming in short, quick pants. "I don't understand!" He's crying openly now, sobs punctuating his sentences. "You’re so good, Galo, you’ve never once doubted me for who I am, but, I don't know who I am anymore and how is someone like that supposed to stand beside you? I, it, it, it just wasn’t supposed to  _ be  _ like this and I just get so  _ stuck  _ going in circles and I, I always hurt you but I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t know what to  _ do _ \--"

Galo reaches out to him but he screeches, pulling back, not ready to be comforted yet. It hurts, it's wrong, it hurts,  _ he's _ wrong. He lets go of his head, blonde hairs still between his fingers, and folds over to scream into his stomach. 

"Lio…" Galo echoes, again. "Come on, give me your hand, please." He reaches out, patting the back of Lio's hand. Reluctantly, he lets go of his knees, but only one hand, and Galo grasps it tightly. "Okay, let's breathe now."

Galo releases his grip in time with breathing out, and tightens it again when breathing in. He does this methodically, slowly, until Lio mirrors his movements and is squeezing back. 

"Sorry." Lio says, voice thick. Galo keeps ahold of the hand, not letting go even when Lio tries to pull back. 

"Tell me what's wrong, please. I want to help, I want you to stop pulling away." Galo nudges his head, trying to coax Lio to look at him, but it's a futile attempt. "It's not fair on me to make that decision on your own. Not when we’ve been together this long, through this much. We saved the world for goodness' sake, what are you scared of that you can’t tell me?" 

Lio laughs, a helpless thing through the tears. He shakes his head, holding it in his hands. "I'm scared of…everyone thinking I'm a fraud." Lio whispers, as if saying it quietly enough would prevent it from being real. "Of not being a  _ real _ husband, because what kind of husband carries children? Of being told by everyone I know that I've betrayed them. And that they'll push me away from you, tell me to leave you, and I'll have nowhere to go. And I think and I think and I realize--" 

Lio gasps for air, but he can't stop now that he's started spilling his innards, inky black thoughts that pollute the night. "You’re right. I  _ won’t _ love them if the cost is losing you. Then I feel so  _ horrible  _ about that because it just confirms that I don’t deserve you.

"All you’ve ever wanted are  _ normal  _ things,” Lio continues at a gasp, “A spouse, a house, a family... But here I am, a broken  _ monster _ , I can't even…  _ fuck,  _ I can't even  _ look _ at myself. So how could you love me? But still, even if you hated me I could never bring myself to leave, because I'm selfish, and I love every second you share with me." 

Lio finally looks up, eyes wet and red. “And I don’t want to lose that.”

To his surprise, though, he sees that Galo is crying as well, tear tracks cutting down his cheeks. 

"No, Lio. What isn't worth it is if I lose  _ you _ over this." Galo holds out his arms as an invitation, but Lio bites his lip, hesitating. After a beat, he leans in, unable to resist the warmth of Galo's chest. Of the feeling of safety that comes with it, and the steady heartbeat under his head. "You're the most important thing to me, Lio, I haven't even  _ met _ these babies yet. Talk about normal--at least you know how to use a toilet." 

"That… what?" Lio asks, so stunned at the comment he stops crying and starts laughing a little, pitifully. 

"You know, the twins," Galo tries to explain, but even in the low light, Lio can see that he's grasping at the straws. "I didn't think that far ahead, I was just trying to comfort you." 

"You…" Lio starts, trying to find the right word. "You  _ goober. _ " It's worked, though. Lio is laughing, and hiccuping, and Galo has nervously joined in. 

"Do you get what I mean?" Galo asks, once their laughter dies down. " _ You _ are the most important thing." He boops Lio's nose, for good measure, and Lio goes cross eyed trying to see it. 

"Lio. Lio, are you listening? Because I have one more important thing to say. I've been thinking about it a lot and, I think, you're scared of losing your place because you're pregnant, and society has a certain expectation for people who are. Where they become objects, vessels of 'motherhood', destined to be nothing but child rearers and stay-at-home, full-time babysitters; second-class citizens rarely listened to, and you're not about that."

"I'm listening, but…" Lio frowns, unsure of where this is going. His interruption makes Galo shush him, a finger on his lips, as he continues.

"The answer to that is… seahorses."

"I… excuse me?" 

"Seahorses!" Galo holds his hands like he's about to catch a football pass, half placating and half illustrating. "The males gestate and give birth, and their seahorse society doesn't care. They're still men. And that's how I see you."

Lio's eyebrows pinch together dubiously, torn between confusion and indignance. 

"What I'm saying is--" Galo gets more heated, louder, more emphatic with his gestures, which keep reaching closer to Lio like he wants to shake him--or maybe hug him until all his pieces are glued back together. "If you value the people who can give birth outside of giving birth, they don't lose anything when they get pregnant! And that's you. And how everyone sees you. I understand why you would think otherwise but these are good people. They still see you, not just this fancy add-on that got put on by the factory that you didn't ask for and accidentally used."

Lio grimace-smiles. "Did you just refer to me as a car?"

"Mmmmaybe?" Galo asks, his voice going high pitched and pained. "Maybe a mech if that makes you feel better? Or a refrigerator--?"

"Stop, stop." Lio sighs and takes his hands. "I love you but you're going the wrong direction very enthusiastically. Stop. I got it."

"Good! So long as you do, ahaha, I, uh, it sounded better in my head."

Lio hums in response, which turns into a sigh halfway.  "I'm sorry I've been so selfish these past few months. I was so… frustrated, and upset, I didn't even notice you suffering until I saw you with our friends today." 

Galo blinks, not expecting the apology, "That's right, I thought you didn't want a party?"

"I didn't. But I felt like I was losing you, I wanted to do something for you, and Meis offered… I… I didn't think too hard about it." Lio admits, head down. 

"It was fun to get everyone together, I agree, but it also feels like you were absent the entire time. And that made it less fun."

"Well, it's--It's not fair that you do all these things for me, but I won't even… go outside with you." Lio takes a breath; this is the admission he's been building up to, and he'll be damned if he chickens out on it now. "I realised I've been letting my fear control me."

"It's okay, I totally understand--" and of  _ course _ Galo would understand, cut him slack, but Lio doesn't want easy forgiveness he hasn't earned.

"That's the point, you're so fucking  _ good _ , you'd give up on your domestic fantasies for me. But that's a shitty thing for me to ask you to do." 

"Then… what does that mean?" Galo's voice is edged with anticipation, though Lio can tell he's trying not to get his hopes up. 

"It means I'll try harder. To be a better husband." He says, firm. The air between them is still as Galo processes Lio's pledge, and then--

"Liiiooooo!" Galo wails, and squishes him tightly. "You're already wonderful but the… the past few months have been really hard!" 

It's like a different kind of dam has been broken, now, and Galo is crying with his head on top of Lio's. It's less upset and somber, as earlier, but more familiar as if he's putting on a show. Lio can tell it's not just for show, though. 

The words hurt, and he accepts that: the pain he caused cannot be taken back, but he can do better, starting from now. That is the Lio Fotia everyone knows and loves, and he’ll be damned if he lets a couple of squalling brats get in the way of that. 

They end up having another baby shower, because Lio feels bad about being a huge bitch during the first one. 

This time, Galo gets to help out hosting it, which he is excited to do, and he insists that it's for the  _ both _ of them. 

Also, guests don't need to bring more presents. Because that seems a little rude. They just need to be prepared to eat all the amazing food and play stupid matoi-themed party games.

Meis insists on coming to help get ready again, though Gueira can't get the day off to accompany him. From the moment he arrives, Lio can already tell that today will be a better day; for starters, Lio has had breakfast and Galo is doing his best puppy impression and running around the house chasing down sparkly things to hang on the walls. 

They have leftover balloons from the previous week, and half the helium tank left. It takes Galo exactly forty seconds to convince Meis to join him in sounding like hamsters while inflating new balloons. 

Lio doesn't take part in the huffing of helium, mainly because he's worried about what would happen to the children (nothing, according to the internet, in moderation). He does watch them with an amused smile as they try to do impressions of each other while speaking in ridiculously high voices though, laying on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn on his belly. 

At noon, Gueira and Lucia storm into the house, snacks and gadgets (games? Tiny mechs?) in their respective arms. Gueira heads straight to the kitchen, dragging Galo in with him as he is the most competent cook after himself, ready to make "the most bomb-ass appetizers since last week's party" while Lucia flops next to Lio and steals a handful of popcorn. 

"You feeling better?" She asks, with her mouth full. Lio averts his eyes, pretending not to see that. 

"Err, yes," Lio replies, and when he looks back she's eyeing him up and down, critically. 

"Good," she says eventually, satisfied, and grabs another handful of popcorn, settling back to watch the shitty TV show with Lio. And that's it. 

Lio appreciates the easiness of her friendship, and he feels a little bit better about tonight. They end up complaining about how the reality show premise makes no sense, making fun of the over-dramatic video effects. 

Unfortunately, their entertainment is disrupted by a small explosion, followed by a harried yelp. 

"I'm surprised that wasn't me," Lucia says, raising an eyebrow at him.

"This is Galo, Gueira, and Meis we're talking about." Lio shrugs and moves to get up, but she presses him back down as another pop sounds.

"Sit back down daddy-o, I'll have a look." She runs off into the kitchen, and Lio starts to wonder if that's a good idea after all. 

The show isn't as funny without Lucia to complain with, so Lio ends up getting up after all to see what the fuss is. 

Moving around is slow going and uncomfortable, and when he approaches the group, they're whispering furiously and throwing something on the ground. 

Lio takes in the scene: Galo, with helium-filled balloons in one hand and a damp towel in the other; Meis, with a long metal chopstick in the gas stove fire; Lucia, with a phone pointed at the carnage; Gueira making nachos on the side, feeding Meis chips with his spare hand. And also, a small smouldering pile on the tile, covered by another damp towel, but Lio can see the smoke rising from it and the smell of burning rubber. 

"Hi, Boss. We're doing science," Meis says easily, because he's fearless. Gueira and Galo look more cowed, but Lucia is grinning. 

"Do you wanna see a balloon being speared by a heated poke?" she offers, and Lio closes his eyes to evaluate his choices. “All the helium catches  _ on fiyah _ .”

He sighs in a way that is less disappointed and fond, and shuffles next to Lucia. "Yeah, you got slow-mo on that thing?"

Everyone in the kitchen cheers at him joining them in the chaos, and Galo continues to blow up balloons for Meis to burst. They leave the one special dragon-shaped metallic balloon alone, even though the entire endeavor apparently started as a way to get it to breathe fire. 

They don't have many balloons left by the time the rest of their guests arrive, and none of them are helium filled. Galo ended up taping them to the wall, just for a cheery look, but the smell of burning rubber remains, even after opening all the windows to air the house out. 

For being firefighters, all his friends seem remarkably chill about it, most of them smirking as they eye the helium canister--aside from Ignis, who simply gives Galo a  _ look _ , then puts his shades on indoors to punctuate the statement and says, “I saw nothing.”

Galo grins and hugs the man, who’s grown to be his father figure the last ten years. 

“I’m really excited to see these kids,” Ignis goes on, as Galo points out features of their house here and there animatedly, Ignis’s massive arm resting on his shoulders. “Don’t have any grandkids of my own.”

“I am too!” Galo beams, and pulls out the little photo album on the table that so far only has ultrasound pictures and party invitations. “You wanna see?!” 

“Absolutely.” And thus Ignis’s shades go back up to sit on his forehead for the duration of the party.

Lio snaps a picture of the interaction into his memory--and Lucia snaps one for real--and Lio remembers that there is a reason he considered these guys his family, and a reason why they're still close after all these years. 

The party itself, this time around, is less of a formal thing, and their guests bring snacks even though they were told not to, and they end up with way too much food, and it's a success. 

Galo being included in the planning means that he made all the games, starting with pin the matoi into the baby's hand. There’s also a betting pool of caramels, M & Ms, and mints, respectively, for what color the babies’ hair will be, whether they’re fraternal or identical, and whether they’ll be in to setting fires or stopping them. There's no alcohol, but it feels like everyone gets drunk on the atmosphere, and for the first time in months, Lio feels like _ himself _ , laughing with his friends, cuddling with his husband, and happy to meet the future. 

  
  


The twins come into the world as many babies do: kicking and screaming and full of the fear of being alive. Lio can sympathize with that. Especially right now, where he's just given birth to two entire human beings. 

Galo is with him, looking worse for wear, but he's holding one of them, his expression one of wonder as if he has the moon and stars in his arms. 

With Galo by his side, and his own child on his chest, the world opens up. He's loopy on meds, lost too much blood, and exhausted, but it's in this moment where he realises two things: 

First: his place beside Galo is still his place. That has not changed, and it will not, because he fought this hard and clinged so tightly that nothing will tear him away, not even his own body.

And second: Galo's heart is a wonderful thing. Before, he had thought it would be difficult, sharing it with two new beings, but the way Galo looks at him with tears shimmering in his eyes and overflowing with love, Lio knows it is not a competition, and there is enough space for all of them. Galo’s heart has grown to fit them all within its protective bounds.

Maybe Lio's has, too. And for now, that's enough.


End file.
